Have you ever gotten out of bed completely down because you had to face something? Maybe you knew that you were going to have an uncomfortable conversation with your boss or coworker. Maybe your spouse was in a horrible mood and was taking it out on you. Maybe it was something physical, like lower back pain.
And, it just brought you completely down. When that happens with me, it’s almost always because of distorted thinking. There are many forms of distorted thinking.
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The distorted thinking patterns that get me, when I let them, are filtering and polarized or black and white thinking. Filtering is seeing something, almost always, through a negative filter and filtering out any positives.
Black and white thinking, in my case, is that if something isn’t perfect then everything is BAD.
Example: My back is killing me today. Instead of remembering that I am in superb shape, with great muscular definition, fantastic cardio respiratory fitness, wonderful muscle mass and great strength and power, I focus on nerve pain in my sacrum.
Instead of focussing on the fact that I had no back pain for a month and am physiologically 20 years younger than my calendar age, I focus on something temporary and capricious-back pain.
Yes, admittedly, I sometimes do things that make my back hurt. I will forget that I have a tendency toward nerve pain in my lower back, even though I have tremendous core fitness. I will sit too long without changing positions, or get lazy about my posture or go for some kind of fitness record, and I will pay the price. This is when back pain is a lesson in watchfulness and listening to my body. And, sometimes, for no apparent reason, my back will just hurt.
Considering all the damage that has happened to my body and some congenital defects in my skeletal system, my fitness, after twenty years of disciplined effort, is still almost miraculous.
So a little thing like sciatic pain, is a small thing. A painful small thing that makes me pissy. And, a small thing that, if I let it, can put a dark cloud on any day, no matter how sunny.
What kinds of little things are you letting ruin your wonderful life because things aren’t “perfect” or you’ve convinced yourself that some temporary thing is permanent? Have that painful conversation with your boss. Once it’s over it’s over. Know that your spouses mood will improve and you don’t have to own it. Just be there for them, just like they are for you when you have lower back pain.
Action Items/Activity Triggers
1. Look up Distorted Thinking
2. When you are down, go down the list and see if you are letting one or two of these distorted thinking patterns ruin an otherwise wonderful life
3. Apologize to your co-workers and loved ones for having a few pissy days
4. Forgive yourself. After all, you can’t be perfect. That’s distorted thinking.